Things You CANNOT Do At Hogwarts
by TheRealGrimReaper
Summary: Anastasia doesn't listen to the rules. Any rules. Many, many rules were created because of that girl.
1. Chapter 1

**1\. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate they are 'covered in bees'.**

 **57\. I will not use silencing charms on my Professors. Or prefects. I am not allowed to use silencing charms period.**

Screams of panic came from the hard-working students of Hogwarts. Loud screams of panic.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" asked Ron.

The Hufflepuffs kept screaming. McGonagall is already walking over to the table, and fast. I see Stacey grinning madly while poking a fourth year Hufflepuff... _with a spoon?_ McGonagall snatches the spoon from her hand.

With a frustrated look, she asks her, "I probably don't want to know, but will you tell me _why_ you are poking Miss Bones with a _spoon?_ "

Stacey looks up, with a look of fake shock. "The poor things are covered in _bees,_ Professor. BEES! How could I just stand there and let these poor, innocent little things get stung by those things! Bones is ALLERGIC!"

George looks at me and grins. "You picked yourself a good one, mate."

I laugh, and elbow him hard in the guts. "Three galleons she'll get a week of detention."

"You're on."

"... AND THESE STUDENTS ARE SCARED TO DEATH OF SPOONS! DETENTION WITH," McGonagall suddenly stops, but her mouth doesn't. Stacey's eyes light up, and then I hear a shriek from the Ravenclaw table.

"You can't use silencing charms on Profess-"she was silenced also, but this time Stacey actually used her wand and voice to do it. Professor Snape starts laughing, rolling on the floor, _hysterical_ laughing, and Dumbledore is staring at the ceiling of the Great Hall, lips pressed together, trying not to laugh. Professor Lupin was already taken to the Hospital Wing, tears streaming down his cheeks while laughing silently. This is severely creeping me out, and Stacey slowly walks out. She stops, takes off the charms, and starts running.

"TWO MONTHS OF DETENTION FOR YOU WITH SNAPE." McGonagall finally gets out, and then that Ravenclaw starts running down the hallway, screaming as she goes, "YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU GET BACK HERE SO I CAN HEX YOU INTO OBLIVION!"

Shoot, I owe George three Galleons.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Harry Potter, or Potter Puppet Pals. (Even though owning those would be totally awesome, I don't. Sadly.) I just created Anastasia Gardiner. Yeah. So... enjoy?**

 **4\. I will not reenact Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall.**

Stacey walks into the Great Hall grinning like a maniac. Harry stands up, and starts walking toward the doors of the Great Hall, while Stacey grabs Malfoy's ear and drags him to where Harry's standing. She closes the doors to the Great Hall, locks them with a few spells I didn't catch, and sits down across from me.

The mad look still on her face, she sends Malfoy a wink, and he swallows visibly. She stands up and stupefies all the teachers. She then turns back to the two students and waits.

 _This is going to be good..._

"Hello, I'm Harry Potter. I've been getting some owls from you guys, and as most of you are very pleased with me, training to kill the Dark Lord and all, I've been getting one recurring request. More Draco Malfoy! What a wonderful idea! I have taken it upon myself to bring this amazing concept into action. Here he is!" Harry says, and drags Malfoy over next to him. He then grins evilly, and says a spell under his breath, and suddenly the suspicious Slytherin turns into a life size puppet. Very freaky. I wonder where he found _that_ spell.

"Say hello Draco!" he makes Malfoy's mouth move with a string(I think) and suddenly takes on a weird voice. " _Hello Draco!"_

 _"_ No, say hello to the _audience_."

" _Hello to the_ audience."

"How dare you make a fool of me." he says in a low voice, and Malfoy's eyes look horrified. TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE FERRET!

"Why don't you tell them a little about yourself Draco?"

" _Hello, I'm Draco Malfoy. I'm totally rich, and I'm really proud I'm pure blooded white, I mean, wizard, he he he."_

Blaise stands up with a cry of protest, but Stacey casts another stupefy, and he falls onto Pansy's lap. She shoves him off, and he kisses the floor with a cringe worthy sound. Most of the students were laughing hysterically. The students that didn't think it was funny didn't dare to move.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha what a wonderful person! Let's learn a little more about Draco!" Harry grins evilly, and some music plays in the backround, along with a giant hamster.

" _Draco likes hamsters..."_ The hamster chews on his arm. And then disappears.

" _Draco likes honey."_ A _lot_ of honey falls on him. Like, fifty liters or something.

" _Draco likes toothpaste, ca chica chica chic.."_ Harry brushes Malfoy's teeth with a giant toothbrush, and smears toothpaste on him. Then it disappears.

 _"Draco like money."_ A lot of leprechaun gold falls on him.

" _Draco likes face paint..."_ He draws a red and gold smiley face on him, further humiliating him with Gryffindor colors.

" _Draco likes pliers."_ He smashes his face with the pliers. I think the charm makes it so it doesn't hurt him badly.

" _Draco likes bowling, Draco likes cartwheels, Draco likes FIRE."_ He gets knocked over with a HUGE bowling ball, is rotated around a fan, and then incendio is cast on him. All while Harry whistles. Stacey takes the charms off of everyone. Harry and Draco return to their respective tables. I don't think I have ever seen Harry enjoy himself as much as he did just now.

"AND THREE MORE WEEKS OF DETENTION! YOU CANNOT JUST TURN A STUDENT INTO A PUPPET!" McGonagall exploded. "AND STUNNING THE TEACHERS AND ANOTHER STUDENT AS WELL!"

"But it was funny." Stacey said, and Harry stood there next to her silently laughing.

"FUNNY OR NOT THAT WAS AGAINST THE RULES!" she said, and Stacey looked confusedly at her.

"What rules, exactly? I didn't use any magic in the hallways, and Malfoy doesn't have one hair out of place." she said. And then she grinned. "I think you're just mad that you cannot react fast enough to block a simple stupefy."

A student from out of nowhere stood up and went, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH BURN!"

Stacey walked out of the Great Hall like a boss.

Damn, I'm in love with that girl.


	3. Chapter 3

**8\. I will not use Professor Umbridge's quill to write, 'I told you I was hardcore'.**

 **92\. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not allowed to wave my hand and announce, "These are not the droids you're looking for."**

 **157\. I am not allowed to refer Professor Umbridge as the wicked witch of the west.**

 **158\. She will not melt is water is poured over her.**

Stacey was running along the hallway, and a soaking Umbridge stopped her.

"I AM NOT THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST AND I WILL NOT MELT IF WATER IS POURED OVER ME YOU LITTLE SHI-" the Professor started but was cut off. Stacey waved a hand in her face, and said,

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

"These are not the droids we're looking for." the Professor repeated.

"Carry on." Stacey said, and waved her hand once again.

"Carry on." And the Professor walked away.

Professor Lupin had to be taken to the Hospital Wing again.

Later that day, Stacey received an owl while in the common room. She passed the note to me.

 _Detention at 6 o'clock tonight, bring some parchment._

I waited for her for about an hour, and then she came into the common room clutching her right hand.

"Let me see." I said, and I cradled her hand in mine. On her hand, the words, _'I told you I was hardcore'_ were etched deep. She looks at me and grins.

"I'm going to let this scar. Every time she sees my hand she'll throw a fit." she says. I laugh a bit, but I'm still upset that that _bitch_ makes the students write their lines in blood. Stacey looks down at me, and smiles warmly.

"Don't worry 'bout me, okay? I know what I'm doing." she says.

"I hope so, Stace, I really do."

And then I surprise myself by saying, "I want to help."


End file.
